this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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