I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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