he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
