hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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