dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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