She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
