Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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