And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
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I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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