A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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