we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize