PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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