fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
