I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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