I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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