I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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