Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
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I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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