onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
