Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
one might say we're banned from that church
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
