Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
