well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
