everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
