Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
