I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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