Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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