loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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