His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
