So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
