I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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