plz talk dirty to me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's rum buckets o'clock
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
