GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
