I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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