I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
