Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
