I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize