Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
