OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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