I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just had sex bonerless
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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