Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
honey bunches of taint.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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