that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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