So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
