TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
