the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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