You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
