hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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