Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
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You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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