the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
