you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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