this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
