There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You smell like stripper and shame
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My dad is sitting where you rode me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
