I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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