i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
