i just had sex bonerless
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
