i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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