Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
